First, Hannover NH is in
US climate zone 6, not zone 4.
Second, vapor barriers below grade are there to block ground moisture from diffusing into the conditioned space, not to block moisture from conditioned space from condensing in the soil. It doesn't matter AT ALL from from a moisture transfer point of view where it is relative to the R-value of the stackup, since only moisture-impervious insulation can be used under slabs. (EPS is the greenest choice, with less than 1% the lifecycle greenhouse gas footprint of XPS, due to the differences in blowing agents used- pentane vs. HFC134a.)
EPS is only R8 at 2", not R10. XPS is R10 at 2", but in a sub-slab application it's lifecycle greenhouse gas of 4" of XPS will FAR exceed the lifecycle carbon release from the energy reduction it offsets, even if you were using electric resistance heat on a 30% efficiency coal-fired grid (which you ain't.) Stick with EPS- go 6" if you have to for getting the R-value up- even 50" of EPS would have a lower greenhouse footprint than the first 2" of XPS.
The 2/3 R rule is a really crude measure that applies only to above grade assemblies, and is highly local-climate and wall stackup dependent. In your floor configuration you have the poly correctly placed, since if you spilled a tub of water it wouldn't get trapped under foam taking forever to dry. But you don't need the added complexity of wedging it between layers on your wall structure- putting it between the compacted fill and the exterior foam is just fine.
You would ideally have ~6" of 1/2- 3/4" screenings/gravel under the floor foam, extending all the way to your perimeter drain, and put the drain at an elevation below the floor foam. This acts as a capillary break between subsoil and your floor structure, and allows moisture that may well up under the middle of the floor to drain freely.
I'm not sure how you would adequately air-seal the roof & exposed wall, or how that's normally done in EarthShip designs. With high-R high-mass earth ballasted walls air infiltration out the rest of it is likely to equal or exceed the conducted heat loss out your high-R above-grade south wall.
Also, the wall-R to floor-R ratio would usually want to be about 2/1, but perhaps you're counting on the R-value of the soil to make that up? With R20 floor you should be looking at R40 for at least the above grade portion of any walls, at least down to a couple feet below grade.
Since you're going to be using a lot of EPS, investigate buying a truckload of reclaimed roofing EPS (insulationdepot.com, or talk to local commercial roofers, or search the local craigslist materials section for "rigid insulation"). Take care to only use EPS or XPS below grade- there's a lot of polyiso used in commercial roofing too- it's great stuff, but will eventually waterlog if buried. Reclaimed goods typically run 1/4-1/3 the cost of virgin stock. At R20 you'd be looking at about $2/square foot if virgin stock, but about 50-65 cents/ft with reclaimed goods. It adds up pretty fast!
Also, ants and termites will tunnel and sometime even nest in rigid foam (any type), so it may be important to put some sort of hard-finish & mesh on the exterior sides to deny them access. There are borate-loaded EPS variants available that will mitigate against wood boring species, but usually only appropriate in high termite-risk areas.