South central PA is US climate zone 5, unless you're in the yellow zone (4):

In zone 4 you don't need an interior side vapor retarder.
In zone 5 you can skip the vapor retarder as long as you have "vented cladding" such as vinyl, or build with a air space/gap between the sheathing & siding, and assembly type referred to as "rainscreen".
In either zone 2x6 w/cellulose meets the IRC code minimum for thermal performance without exterior insulation.
In zone 5 if you install exterior insulation it needs to be a minimum of R7.5 if 2x6 or R5 if 2x4 for dew point control at the sheathing. If you use less exterior-R than that, a Class-II or variable permeance vapor retarder is required on the interior. Do NOT install polyethylene or foil (or even vinyl or foil wallpaper), since that will only impede drying capacity (severely!). The sheathing can't dry toward the exterior at a reasonable rate through an inch of foam (unless it's unfaced EPS, AND rainscreened). A variable "smart" vapor retarder such as 2-mil nylon (Certainteed MemBrain) is far more forgiving and robust than half-perm paint or asphalted kraft, etc.
A 2x4 cellulose + R5 foam wall meets code min as well, but to approach ICF performance you really want to go with 2x6 cellulose + R8, which comes in at about R23 "whole wall" after factoring in the thermal bridging, and has adequate dew point control even in zone 5 with some margin.
The greenest foam sheathing solution is EPS, which has a stable R value over many decades, and is blown with a relatively benign blowing agent (pentane), which is often recaptured at the factory and burned for process heat. XPS is the same polymer and has a ~15% higher labeled R value, but that higher R is temporary, and dependent upon the amount of retained HFC blowing agent. The most common HFC used for blown XPS in the US is HFC134a (automotive AC refrigerant) which packs a very powerful greenhouse punch, ~1400x CO2. As the blowing agent leaks out over a few decades the R-value sinks to that of EPS of similar density (about R4.2/inch.) From a design robustness point of view it's best to assume the fully depleted performance, not the labeled performance. From a $ per labeled-R point of view EPS is cheaper anyway. You'd need at least 1.5" of XPS to meet the R7.5 labeled IRC prescriptive for 2x6 framing, but 2" of EPS (R8.4) is usually cheaper, and will still be performing at R8.4 in 50 years.
The placement of the housewrap depends on how you are mounting & flashing the windows. If the glass is going to be co-planar with the structural sheathing ("innie" mounted) the housewrap should be a crinkle type (eg Tyvek DrainWrap) and goes between the foam and the sheathing, properly lapped with the window flashing. If the glass is roughly co-planar with the siding ("outie" mounted), you can use flat housewrap, and it goes between the foam and the siding.
Tape the seams of the structural sheathing and caulk the sheathing to the framing inside each stud bay as the primary air barrier. While it's sometimes possible to detail the housewrap as an adequate air barrier, it's really nowhere near as robust for air tightness. Don't forget to caulk under the bottom plate of the studwall, and between doubled up top plates too- those long skinny seams are much bigger holes than they appear to the naked eye. Tape the seams of any exterior foam too- it will help performance if it ever shrinks over time (foam shrinkage issues have improved a lot since the 1970s, but are you really going to count on it to be a perfect air barrier for a century?)