See if the following is suitable for your list.  I have provided the web links.

Framing
Aeonian Brick  http://aeonianbricks.com/index.html
Composite Building Structures  http://www.cbs-homes.com/
DuraSip panels with high strength and fire resistant phenolic-fiberglass laminate skins
http://www.durasip.com/housing.html
Saebi Alternative Building Sytstem (SABS)  http://strataus.com

HVAC
Daikin VRV Heat Pump  http://www.daikinac.com/landing.asp

 First of all, I think you need to redefine it as either “green” or energy efficient.  Something can be one or the other, or both (or neither).

To me energy efficiency is much easier to define and less open to interpretation.   The only question is how you measure it and what is it relative to.    There is a regional component, a house built in Fargo ND is going to need a lot more insulation then one in Sothern Cal. 

“Green” encompasses many concepts including efficiency, durability, occupant health (comfort, reduction of VOC compounds like formaldehyde reduction of disease), recycling, minimizing water usage and waste, use of renewable energy. etc.  Personally I think the term should be “Good building”, not “green Building” as it covers what should be the norm in construction.   I also believe what is green or good varies by locality. 

So My list of good stuff is based on my climate (Connecticut) and is primarily energy efficiency based

Good stuff for energy efficiency

Design

Proper orientation for winter  solar gain and natural shading and summer passive cooling

Passive solar design

Minimized exterior surface area to livable square footage

Foundation

ICF foundations Plus underslab insulation

Good drainage and waterproofing, some natural lighting if possible

Framing

Double wall stick framing

OVE framing + outsulation to prevent thermal bridging as well as insulated headers

ICF

SIP’s

Trusses with energy heels

Cellulose insulation r50 + ceilings as much as will fit in the wall, dense pack or wet spray

Alot of attention to airsealing

Minimized exterior surface area to livable square footage

Windows:

South facing windows optimized for solar gain but shaded to prevent overheating in summer

Remaining windows should be maximal efficiency, casements if possible.  East and west facing  windows with  vegetative shading or very low solar heat gain. 

Daylighting through tubular skylights

HVAC

HRV  or ERV set for 0.35 ACH

Passive solar gain

Solar airheater

Mod con boiler properly sized with outside air source

Quality, efficient, centrally located  woodstove or masonry heater

 Very quiet Bathroom fan on a timer or humidistat

Good kitchen exhaust fan over range

 Mini split AC if needed SEER 15-18

Geothermal if very high efficiency

No heating or cooling ductwork outside of building envelope

Plumbing

Solar hot water heater

All plumbing centrally located and vertically stacked.  Minimized run from HW tank to fixtures. 

Low flow sinks

Shower with thermostatic mixing valve and low flow shower head

Exterior cooking area and shower area to prevent heat and moisture buildup in the house during the warmer months

Electrical

Proper use of Daylighting

100% fluorescent lighting internal and external

Modern efficient ceiling fans

Efficient right sized fridge/freezer, washer and dryer

Microwave and small oven

All electronics with small standby losses (IE control vampire loads)

Robin,

this is very simple.  What is the shape that has the most interior cubic feet per outside area.

Answer is a sphere.  It is hard to build spheres.  So we build boxes.  A square box has the least surface area  to interior cubic ft.   Look at Typical European houses.  What you see is square, 1 1/2 or 2 1/2 story boxes plus a roof.   Look at what we build here,  My parents  house has 19 sides.  It has a huge surface area to interior usable square footage.

The more complicated you build a structure, the harder it is to insulate it.  Same with rooflines.  A lot of these "modern" houses have very complicated rooflines.  Today it is not uncommon for a house to have 15-20 different roof planes.  Again this uses alot more material, shingles sheathing, trusses etc.  All these intersecting rooflines are potential leak points. 

on the solar tube (daylighting yes, but a chimney for conditioned air, hard to insulate, and another roof penetration)

TRUE  You have to work hard to install these correctly.  Good ones are gasketed top and bottom.  I use duct mastic and then tape to seal the tubes, and calk the  tube to the ceiling air barrier, then wrap the tube in  r-8 fiberglass insulation
Still not perfect but all in all gives quality lighting without too much heat loss

the icf foundation foundation. A traditional poured with xps could also be in the running (I'm saying there are more options than just icf) 

No question you can use conventional  XPS insulation, ICF is just easier not necessarily better. I think the "warm n dry" works fairly well also, especialy coupled with interior insulation. 

And while a "wish" list is great, it of course means nothing without great execution which I feel is the most important. A sip or icf house is great until you discover your exterior osb is rotting because the window install was botched or your inside drywall is moldy because water is entering into your icf house via window or door openings with no pans. Or your shower pan leaks and mold develops. And you know what, most people wont ever know this is happening for years; until the wall gets black spots or when the house is getting resided a worker pokes through the osb. I have repaired rot on 2 year old homes. Yea your energy bills are great but the air quality stinks because the wall or sillbox is full of stanky mold.

I agree with this 100%  It is all the little things that make a great house.   The doors, windows and deck attachment points have to be absolutely correct or the homeowner is going to get screwed down the road.  Again the more complicated things are the more likely something is installed sub par. 

As always, its about the money. How low can I get my energy bills. It should be about the indoor air quality, how clean can I get the air my family breathes, THEN how low can I get my energy bills. I find it amusing at people who love how "green" and "tight" their new house is, and it's full of particle board and mdf furniture, cabinets, flooring, shelving and the like off-gassing like little invisible chemical plants into their hermatically sealed bubbles.

My line of thought is a green structure is a site designed, well designed, durable structure that will stand the test of time and through those principles energy efficiency follows suit. It is custom, not canned and it could be icf, sips, stick or a combination. My partial exterior list of durable details would be:

Exterior drainage plane; window and door beveled sill pans over membrane; proper window installation using butyl membrane with no sealant on the bottom flange; use of high quality commercial grade sealants where applicable without veering into wicked high voc content; use of high quality building gaskets; air barrier sealed and taped vertically; head flashings; proper pas roof underlayment/step flashing/kickouts; abutting roofs flashed at wall to below the soffit line (these areas are always rotted out); balanced attic venting; full width vent chutes; spaced deck ledgers w/flashing; proper clearance to grade; proper grade slope away; managed foundation drainage plane w/drain tile/bleeders/pit or daylight; correct backfill material; windows and doors with low air infiltration (good locking mechanisms); all penetrations (a/c, elec, vents, gas line, cable/tv/sat/phone, ect.) entering the building through a flashed penetration; flashing to the outer layer when using exterior foamboard; integrating all these flashings into the cladding used (kick the water out from behind the cladding out onto the cladding)
Basically every item is to control moisture, and for anyone that has built a home or more knows, it's not as easy as it sounds to be that complete when construction is on a schedule and in full swing if it's anything more than a box.

Again I agree completely and would add a few things.   Bulk water is not your friend.

 On windows use a couple of small plastic wedges under the bottom flange to help any possible drainage.

Roof at least 4/12 pitch.  Overhangs on all sides at least 18”   Minimize intersecting rooflines when possible.  Minimize roof penetrations by good design.  Water and ice shield up at least 3 ft past the wall roof intersection.

Building in wet areas, all foundation drains to daylight, drains under the slab also. 

For deck ledgers, It try to run them low down and bolt them to the foundation when possible.  The last deck I did I used Maine deck Brackets, which have great standoff  http://deckbracket.com/ 

I would summarize my position as build the smallest and simplest house you can so you can so you have more money to spend doing it correctly.